(in which I try to act older than I am)

I do not understand how people can believe they are tolerant of others, and then try to deprive them of rights.

You say that gay people want more than your tolerance, we want your acceptance. But how can this be tolerance if you are trying to keep a group of people in a lower class? Because that’s what this is about: having the right to marry the person you love. What does tolerance mean to you? That you will not stone gay people for our “choices?” That you will not stop us from having relationships? That you will allow us to express love in the privacy of our homes? Forgive me if I’m not falling over myself to praise you for your benevolence. You can’t support bans on gay marriage and say that you live and let live.

Acceptance? Approval? We’re not asking for wedding gifts, and you’re not invited to the party if you’re just deigning to be civil to us.

As it’s always been, and always will be, you’re totally allowed to have the opinion that being gay is wrong and that gay marriage is not equal to straight marriage. Just don’t use those opinions to control the lives of others.

I don’t speak for all gay people of course, but…

-We’re not doing this to piss you off or be different.

-We don’t need your approval, we just want equal status

-For god’s sake, it’s not a freaking choice.

The passing of Prop 8 has incited so many emotions in LGBT people and supporters. For me there was disbelief, then I was pissed the fuck off, then depressed. But now I’m hopeful. People are being more vocal than ever about their support of LGBT people, and even though equality was rescinded last week, I think we can definitely get there again in a few years.

As much as I support the continued efforts of protesting prop 8, I worry that some may go too far. There is still so much anger over this, and as much as it may be righteous anger, it can be dangerous when combined with a huge group of people who agree with you. Please don’t take it too far by protesting inside churches and temples, or stopping people from entering them. This is a serious affront to churchgoers and it will not do anything to make them understand our cause. We need to take the high road.

I don’t want to write about rage, but I have certainly felt it this past week. I felt it most when the girl I am dating — who has never dated a girl before — collapsed in her car and cried after the Prop 8 rally. She wondered aloud if we wouldn’t make more progress by just crying rather than yelling and being angry. I’ve wondered this a lot myself. Is it in part our anger and our frustration that adds to their anger and judgment? -Tegan Quin

We can’t fight hate with hate. Don’t give them fuel to preach about how immoral we are. We need to show them how human we are, and how it’s all about love.

I went home last weekend and it was a bit jarring to suddenly see political signs up everywhere. Especially the pro-prop 8 signs. I guess Orange County really is conservative. I thought that it wouldn’t be because there are wealthier communities and wealthy tends to =more liberal, godless, elite, gotcha, media? IDK. I really dk.

Anyway, I was walking with my aunt and she noticed me burning a hole through my neighbor’s Yes on 8 sign. with my eyes. She started saying how she really hopes it passes, before she remembered that I had voiced my opposition to it before. I told her I really did not see anything wrong with gay marriage, and she said “Oh, just you wait. If they get this, they’re gonna want something else.” I was kind of speechless. It was like that saying “If gay and lesbian people get civil rights, everyone will want them.” Except she was completely serious. I asked her to clarify what exactly “they” will want next. She said she didn’t know. It hurt me how she seemed to be dehumanizing gay people, consciously relegating them(us) to a class that shouldn’t have the same rights. I asked her if she knew any gay people, and she said she had a guy friend who was, but he wasn’t a very close friend and he didn’t act gay. She said she liked him, but she seemed embarrassed to be admitting that she knew a gay guy. I told her that gay people are just like everybody else, and probably most of them don’t even “act gay”. Not that there’s even anything wrong with acting gay, but I didn’t think she’d understand that if she thinks being gay is a choice.

Later we saw a tv ad saying how Obama is against prop 8, and she said that she wouldn’t vote for him anymore. It surprised me, but I guess, what did I expect? She said that gay marriage is the most important issue for her.

I told my mom about what she said, and my mom said that she couldn’t vote anyway. This made me feel bad, because I had forgotten that she wasn’t a citizen, so it was maybe insensitive of me to assume she could vote.

So yeah…I’m really worried that prop 8 will pass. I think that because the no on 8 side got a lot of their funds a lot later than the pro-8 side, they were less able to reach out to voters, especially the people who sent in absentee ballots early. I think our side was too optimistic or maybe complacent; I know I was. Ahhhh, don’t let me down, California.

I’ve been feeling so much negativity regarding gay marriage (and homosexuality in general) today. This morning some neighbors-I think they’re Mormons, came by my house and wanted to talk to my mom about Prop 8. They went outside to talk but I listened in… My mom was saying that “she’s all for giving people rights but you have to draw the line somewhere.” This kind of hurt me, but it also made me angry. I hate this “us vs. them” mentality. LGBT people are everywhere and all kinds of things; sexual orientation is just one aspect of a person’s identity. It shouldn’t matter so much to people and it shouldn’t be used to divide and dehumanize.

Another thing about what my mom said… I’m sure lots of people felt that way when blacks and women were given the right to vote, or when the ban on inter-racial marriage was deemed unconstitutional. My mom makes me so angry sometimes…she is unapologetically racist and sometimes religiously prejudiced too but I think I (and a decade or so of living in CA) have helped make her more open minded. I keep trying to tell her that prejudice is just never okay.

I guess the reason I brought up the fact that the people going door to door were Mormons is because my mom has said that she doesn’t like Mormons. She said that “they only help their own” because at one of her past jobs Mormon people kept unfairly promoting and helping out other Mormons. But hey, she can get all chummy with them to diss gay people. I guess my point is that people can find things in common with everyone. How beautiful is that? All kinds of people can dislike gays, or Mexicans, or people who eat rice with ketchup, or puppies, in harmony! In all seriousness though, this is why I find prejudice so ridiculous. How can you hate people before you even get to know them?

Later, when I was watching the Olympics with my family, this commercial came on (only it just ended with the “what if you couldn’t marry the person you love?” shot). My aunt remarked that the commercial was “so annoying,” and I asked why, because I hadn’t seen it before. She just said “because it’s for gay marriage”. Which kind of annoyed me. Because so what? The way she responded to it just felt like maybe the commercial made her question her anti-gay stance a little. Maybe it intrigued her and after finding out that it was for gay marriage rights she felt betrayed. My aunt is like my mom, but more prejudiced (I try to convert her to open-mindedness too, man it’s tough being me =P).

During dinner my mom brought up Prop 8 and they (my mom, dad, and aunt) all started agreeing with each other how gay marriage will degrade society’s morality. I just kept quiet this time because I was getting kind of weary of thinking about it literally all day (I tend to dwell on stuff). My mom pointed out that I supported gay marriage and tried to joke that it was because I’m gay. I gotta say, my heart jumped a little at that. I didn’t deny it though, I just kept eating and watching TV.

I want to debate homosexuality with them in earnest. I have talked about it a few times but I always try to be all nonchalant. I’m afraid of debating it at length and in detail because I think they will suspect me of being gay.