I told my friend! I told my friend. Itoldmyfriend I toldmyfriend. Breathe damn you, breathe!

It was a little more awkward than I was hoping for, but I’m still very glad I finally did it. Once I mentally slapped myself enough and made myself just say it, “I think I’m gay,” it totally felt like an out of body experience. My mouth was on autopilot and my mind was…I don’t know…I felt like I was completely absorbed in watching her, trying to gauge her reaction.

She was surprised but supportive. I kind of got the feeling that she’s not convinced of how I feel. Or that she’s not convinced that I know how I feel. When I talked about my lifelong disinterest in guys she said something like ‘sometimes people just haven’t met the right person.’ I don’t think I was communicating myself that well. It was still hard for me to talk about my feelings. It always has been. So I think I understand where she’s coming from, but I think she just needs time to get used to it.

I haven’t felt an immediate weight off my chest feeling, but I feel way less tense. Seriously. Like all of today and last night I’d been freaking out and worried and I couldn’t fall asleep until about 4am.

Anyways…*inward celebratory whooping*

Sky hasn’t fallen.

I’m going to be okay πŸ™‚

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