I’ve been feeling so much negativity regarding gay marriage (and homosexuality in general) today. This morning some neighbors-I think they’re Mormons, came by my house and wanted to talk to my mom about Prop 8. They went outside to talk but I listened in… My mom was saying that “she’s all for giving people rights but you have to draw the line somewhere.” This kind of hurt me, but it also made me angry. I hate this “us vs. them” mentality. LGBT people are everywhere and all kinds of things; sexual orientation is just one aspect of a person’s identity. It shouldn’t matter so much to people and it shouldn’t be used to divide and dehumanize.

Another thing about what my mom said… I’m sure lots of people felt that way when blacks and women were given the right to vote, or when the ban on inter-racial marriage was deemed unconstitutional. My mom makes me so angry sometimes…she is unapologetically racist and sometimes religiously prejudiced too but I think I (and a decade or so of living in CA) have helped make her more open minded. I keep trying to tell her that prejudice is just never okay.

I guess the reason I brought up the fact that the people going door to door were Mormons is because my mom has said that she doesn’t like Mormons. She said that “they only help their own” because at one of her past jobs Mormon people kept unfairly promoting and helping out other Mormons. But hey, she can get all chummy with them to diss gay people. I guess my point is that people can find things in common with everyone. How beautiful is that? All kinds of people can dislike gays, or Mexicans, or people who eat rice with ketchup, or puppies, in harmony! In all seriousness though, this is why I find prejudice so ridiculous. How can you hate people before you even get to know them?

Later, when I was watching the Olympics with my family, this commercial came on (only it just ended with the “what if you couldn’t marry the person you love?” shot). My aunt remarked that the commercial was “so annoying,” and I asked why, because I hadn’t seen it before. She just said “because it’s for gay marriage”. Which kind of annoyed me. Because so what? The way she responded to it just felt like maybe the commercial made her question her anti-gay stance a little. Maybe it intrigued her and after finding out that it was for gay marriage rights she felt betrayed. My aunt is like my mom, but more prejudiced (I try to convert her to open-mindedness too, man it’s tough being me =P).

During dinner my mom brought up Prop 8 and they (my mom, dad, and aunt) all started agreeing with each other how gay marriage will degrade society’s morality. I just kept quiet this time because I was getting kind of weary of thinking about it literally all day (I tend to dwell on stuff). My mom pointed out that I supported gay marriage and tried to joke that it was because I’m gay. I gotta say, my heart jumped a little at that. I didn’t deny it though, I just kept eating and watching TV.

I want to debate homosexuality with them in earnest. I have talked about it a few times but I always try to be all nonchalant. I’m afraid of debating it at length and in detail because I think they will suspect me of being gay.

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