My Myers-Briggs personality type is INFJ, the “counselor.” This is supposedly the most rare type out of the 16, making up about 2% of the population. And it sure feels like it. I don’t mean to be all dramatic (or annoying), but, well, I’ve never met anyone like me. It’s kind of hard to describe, but people don’t seem to understand a lot about me. I’m an enigma to most people. A lot of times I don’t understand me, either. It’s something I’ve kind of gotten used to; maybe I’ll never really “fit in,” but I’d like to belong. I’d like to meet other INFJs for sure, but it might be hard seeing as we can be reclusive.

(I’m going to use “we” a lot because I’ve been looking at some discussion boards about this and the descriptions of INFJs seem to be very accurate for others who test as INFJ.)

INFJs are really, really idealistic. To the point that we have very high standards for, and are highly critical of ourselves. This can get pretty frustrating, but I guess I still like that I won’t BS myself and I won’t settle. Still, I went through pretty rough levels of self-loathing as a younger teenager. With regards to other people, we can sometimes have unrealistically high expectations of close friends and family, but we are also very forgiving. Usually we really love people, and see good in everyone.

We are delicate butterflies. Haha…well maybe not exactly. But emotionally we tend to get hurt very easily, because we get super invested into relationships. We really enjoy helping other people, not just to look good or to feel like superior people…it just really makes us feel good. We kind of consider it our purpose in life to support others. I think we’re not typical introverts because we are so concerned with our relationships. Like, I wish I could spend more time with people, but after a lot of interaction with people I seriously feel tired out and need to recharge by being alone and pondering things.

We value authenticity a lot (all “NF” types do).

The problem for Idealists is that this ardent wish to be genuine at all times and everywhere actually separates them from the authenticity they demand of themselves, and forces them, to a certain extent, into the very role-playing they want to avoid. Instead of the whole-hearted, authentic person they want to be, they are at once director and actor: they are on stage, and prompting themselves with lines. The irony of this wanting to be authentically themselves is that it often leaves Idealists feeling divided and false, standing to one side and telling themselves to be themselves.

This feels 100% true for me. It can be debilitating, this obsession with authenticity. But, alas. Overanalyzation: We Haz It.

What do I want in life? I’m not really concerned with leaving behind a legacy or making fantabulous works of art that change the world (well, actually, the latter is pretty appealing too). I want to find my true self, to form intimate and lasting connections with people, and to support the people I love. I want to find my soulmate, someone who truly understands me and who will appreciate and reciprocate the love I want to give.

I can see how all of this would sound phony and naive, but phony it isn’t. (Naive? I like to think not). I truly believe in these things: soulmates, the power of love, self-actualization. Even on an anonymous forum such as this, I still feel kind of self-conscious expressing all of this. It’s not that I’m ashamed; as silly as it may sound I think I’m afraid of being misunderstood. Sometimes I feel pretty isolated but most of the time I’m fine…I just can’t really explain my feelings to my family well. They think I am too emotional and idealistic ^^;

On a final note, we aren’t emo ;.;

Alright, maybe a little.

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